The Ultimate Turnabout of Ultimate Destiny
by BadgeWolf
Summary: This is a crackfic involving characters from several franchises, which also includes a couple of OC's (They will come after you if you call them Mary Sues.) Be sure not to take anything too seriously. Rated T because everyone dies.
1. Chapter 1

Previously:

Ema Skye was infected by a virus that turns people into Miles Edgeworth. She activated her interdimensional transporter to see if she could find the cure in another universe

_And now for something completely different_

After spending what felt like an eternity in the void between universes, Ema found herself back in her own laboratory. Was it all a dream? Did I just fall asleep while doing science? Ema pulled a hair out of her head to see whether or not the events of my last fanfic were a dream. To her dismay, the hairs she pulled out were the grey of Miles Edgeworth, not Ema's normal brown. Ema needed to find a cure, and she needed to find it fast. Before she could make her way to her lab equipment, another Ema Skye came running down into the basement laboratory. Ema realized that this Ema was most likely the Ema native to this universe. Regardless, the Ema that was turning into Miles Edgeworth did not want to give her other self the virus. She grabbed a face mask off the wall, and prayed with all of her agnostic heart that its minimal protection would be sufficient. Once the masking of the face was finished, Ema turned around. "P-p-p-prosecutor Edgeworth?" stuttered the Ema native to this universe, "Wh-why are you wearing a face mask? You aren't dating a serial killer or something, are you? I heard that happened to Mr. Wright once..." Before either Ema could say anything more, a blue police telephone box materialized out of nowhere, fell, and squished the Ema from the previous fanfic, thereby removing the complication of having more than one Ema. An extremely attractive man in a tight pinstriped suit ran out of the police box. His hair was on fire, and he was being chased by what appeared to be a homicidal trash can with a plunger and an eggbeater for arms. Ema couldn't put her finger on it, but the man reminded her of some old TV show that Apollo had once forced her to watch. Regardless, his head was on fire and was about to damage Ema's precious lab. Ema grabbed the fire extinguisher, pulled the pin, and sprayed the man's head. She also sprayed the homicidal trashcan, just for good measure. The strange man patted his head to make sure he still had hair, then he took what appeared to be some sort of magic laser pointer (Ema later learned that it was a sonic screwdriver), and started pointing it at Ema's sensitive equipment. Several explosions later, the trashcan (its proper name is Dalek), was lying broken on the floor. Ema could even see the slug thing inside oozing out.

"My lab!" shouted Ema, "You destroyed my lab!"

"Hey, good thinking with the fire extinguisher there," replied the man, "I'm the Doctor, by the way, and I don't know what I'd do without my hair."

"My lab..." Ema looked at the ground. Her lab and her research were everything to her. Her private research was the only thing that had kept her going after she failed the forensic science exam. Ema began to cry. Only then did the Doctor realize the extent of the damage he had done.

"I'm sorry," said the Doctor, "I suppose I did destroy your lab. I'll try to make it up to you somehow..." Ema cried harder. "I bet I can show you something that will totally blow your mind," said the Doctor, projecting more bravado than he felt. Ema straightened up and composed herself.

"I'm a woman of science," she began, "It'll take more that a couple of parlour tricks to impress me."

"Come inside the box," said the Doctor, "10 Pounds say it'll blow your mind."

"Wait," said Ema, "I've heard of this before. 16.51 dollars say that you're a total creeper." The Doctor sighed. Rejection always hurt. He dejectedly walked into the police box, and attempted to teleport to somewhere more hospitable. The police box had nearly dematerialized, when a great sputtering noise was heard, and the box re-materialized. The sound of the box dematerializing and re-materializing sounded strangely familiar to Ema. It took her a second, but then she realized what it reminded her of- a time machine.


	2. Layton influences the insanity!

Flashback: ten years prior

It had been 1 year after Lana had been saved by Mr. Wright . The sisters had become close again, and Ema's world seemed sunnier by the day. That joy ended with the science fair.

Ema was a senior in high school, meaning that the 2017 science fair was going to be her last. Ema wanted to make it count. She decided to collaborate with her best friend, Claire Fey. They spent months working out the different formulas, until finally the day came to test it. Needless to say, the test failed (but just barely!) , necessitating this angsty flashback. The resulting explosion killed poor Claire and levelled a city block. Poor Ema became the angsty type, which later contributed to her failure on the forensic science exam and her general dissatisfaction with life. Ema thought she was done with angsty period in her life. She was finally trying to move on.

Even though she was over her angst, Ema still never wanted to think about time travel again. Had this man built a working time machine? The Doctor poked his head out of the door of the box.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, "I'm trying to leave. I'll leave you alone."

"Wait!" shouted Ema, "Is that a time machine?"

"How could you have possibly guessed that?" asked the Doctor.

"The sound of the temporal engine is unmistakable," answered Ema, "although I'd recommend turning off the anchoring system while the temporal engine is in use. It makes the machine as a whole much louder, and may cause it to explode. That happened to me once."

"You had a time machine?" sputtered the Doctor, "a human? You aren't supposed to have time travel for 300 years!"

"Emphasis on the had" replied Ema, "My time machine exploded, killing my best friend and leveling a city block."

"Ohh, of course," replied the Doctor, "That was the whole Bill Hawks incident, wasn't it."

"What does my ex-boyfriend have to do with anything?" asked Ema

"You dated the Prime Minister of Great Britain?" shouted the Doctor in disbelief.

"Prime Minister? Bill was as American as fortune cookies" replied a very confused Ema.

"I invented fortune cookies," replied the Doctor, "I'm not even from Earth!"

"You're full of beans," replied Ema, "and I still think you're a creeper."

"Do you want to travel with me?" asked the Doctor, "I often travel with an assistant of your demographic."

"Have you even been listening to me?" replied Ema.

"Please," begged the Doctor, "You're the smartest person I've met in a while!"

"Well...," began Ema "It's gotta be better than being a detective under that fop." The two of them walked into the box together, but not before Ema grabbed a carton of Snackoos to sustain her during what would turn out to be a very short trip.


	3. Trouble Brews

Ema learned that the strange box was known as the TARDIS. She also noticed that it was bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, which was good. Had it been a more natural size, things would have been quite awkward between Ema and the Doctor.

"The TARDIS doesn't like you..." muttered the Doctor, "It thinks we're in a parallel universe. I hope it's not going senile on me.." before anyone could say anything else, the TARDIS stopped suddenly, re-materialized several feet from the ground, and fell. Ema and the Doctor ran out to see that the TARDIS had squished Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, and several squealing Twilight fans. At the bottom of the pile was a blonde woman known as Rose Tyler. The Doctor began to cry. Ema began to analyze the crime scene.


	4. Gratuitous Hebrew

The Starship Enterprise was, as usual, going where no man had gone before. What was strange about this particular leg of the voyage was the fact that Captain Kirk was tied up in the corner. Captaining in his stead was some random Caucasian girl. She had short, unruly brown hair, and appeared to be about 12 (In reality, she was far older.). She was wearing whatever random clothing.

"What see your elf eyes, Giveret Spock?" asked the girl. (Giveret is Hebrew for Miss)

"a: I am not an Elf, I am a Vulcan. b:I am neither female, nor am a Hebrew teacher. Please refrain from calling me Giveret. c: How did you even get here?" replied Spock in a logical monotone.

"That's not what you were supposed to say at all!" replied the girl. Using her complete mastery of the universe, she pulled a boom box out of nowhere and began to play Taking the Hobbits to was her jam and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

"I think a moon is following us." said Uhura, out of the blue.

"That's no moon," replied the mysterious girl, "That's a spaceship."

"It's like nothing I've ever seen!" interjected Scotty.

"I love Scottish accents," said the girl, "You just got upgraded to main character!"

"Who are you, anyway," asked Uhura, "I mean I know we're being chased by this crazy spaceship and all, but seriously, what are you doing here?"

"My name is unimportant," said the girl melodramatically, "I've come to warn everyone that the walls of the universe are pretty much non-existent at this point."

"Isn't that Rose Tyler's job?" asked Chekhov, "A nice Russian girl, that one."

"Rose Tyler is neither Russian nor currently alive," replied the strange girl, "But if it's any consolation, mister space commie, I'm 3/8 Russian."

"She's a Mary Sue," said Spock, "Don't pay any attention to her."

"בשקט!"said the girl.

"That wasn't Russian!" said Chekhov.

The Death Star shot at the Enterprise. It began to crash until it hit the Earth. The Death Star stayed in the sky.


	5. Trial of a Thyme Lord

It was the third day of the Doctor's trial. The only thing worse than losing your already trapped in an alternate universe lover is being blamed for her death. This is exactly what happened to the Doctor. The Autopsy Report said that Rose Tyler died of squishing, and the TARDIS, which was the Doctor's vehicle, and was found on top of Rose. Ergo, the Doctor squished Rose Tyler. The investigation failed to notice the hordes of Twilight fans, because everyone hates Twilight. The Doctor was confident at the beginning because he had hired hotshot defense attorney Phoenix Wright. By the third day, everyone had lost hope. Even the legendary Phoenix Wright began to lose faith in his client. The judge was about to hand down his verdict when and earth-shattering and unfamiliar OBJECTION! was heard. Rose Tyler punched a couple of bailiffs before taking the witness stand.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury which doesn't exist in this universe," began Rose, " The Doctor has been accused of the murder of one Rose Tyler. I am Rose Tyler. Since I am obviously not dead, the Doctor can not be a murderer! " No one could have argued with that logic. The Judges gavel fell. Not Guilty. Everyone celebrated. Confetti rained from the ceiling.

Suddenly,the courtroom caught fire. It was surprisingly violent. Courtroom Number four had been bombed the previous year, and it had been repaired as cheaply as possible. It showed. The ceiling began to collapse in places. A large piece of rubble fell on Athena. Apollo was the Sun god, so he was okay.

"Don't die on me Thena!" said Apollo.

"Don't call me that," said Athena, "That is Juniper's nickname for me."

"Try to stay awake!" said Apollo, using his Chords of Steel, "Try to remember. Who was your Mother?"

"Metis Cykes, a robopsychologist for GYAXA." replied Athena

"Who was your father?" asked Apollo.

"He was named Aaaaron with 4 a's." replied Athena, right before she died. Apollo felt his whole being dying on the inside, but he knew there were other injured people he needed to help. He ran to help his mentor, the great Phoenix Wright. Phoenix's face had been burned off. It wasn't pretty. He was already dead. Apollo's insides folded in a little more. He ran to see if the judge was okay. The judge had been trapped under some rubble, but luckily, Apollo was able to save him. His honor revealed to Apollo that he wasn't the actual judge; he was actually interpreting for the real judge, a monkey he kept under his robes.

At the other end of the courtroom, a drama of a much more personal nature was playing out. For the first time in years, the Doctor was talking to Rose Tyler. Rose was trapped under part of the ceiling. The Doctor couldn't dig her out because he had lost both arms. The Doctor decided that talking to Rose was worth losing a couple of arms.

"Sorry, " said the Doctor, "I'm rubbish at this whole dating business."

"Doctor," replied Rose, just as she fell unconscious, "I'm pregnant with a Dalek baby."

"Wot?" responded the Doctor, "That's impossible!" The Death Star watched them all.


	6. Gratuitous Gore and Fullmetal Alchemist

Not too far from the courthouse, Captain Kirk and Mister Spock extricated themselves from the wreckage of the Enterprise. The ground was stained with the blood of the crew. It had likely been the worst crash in Federation history, and it was all because of that strange spaceship, the Death Star.

"Are you injured?" asked Spock, whose only injury was a gash on his cheek, "Most of the crew is in critical condition. Many are still unaccounted for."

"I'm okay," replied Kirk, who was covered in blood, "most of this blood isn't my own." Kirk and Spock tended to their injuries. They then spent the next couple of hours combing the rubble for survivors. As soon as Spock declared that there was no chance of finding another survivor, Kirk collapsed from his injuries. it turned out that most of the blood _had _been his own. Spock knew that since they had crashed on a level 5 planet (meaning we have the Professor Layton games), some form of medical care would be available. He started dragging Captain Kirk to towards the nearest human habitation. Spock marvelled at the absurdity of the situation. Here he was, a supposedly logical Vulcan, dragging a human who was unlikely to live long(or prosper), towards medical care that would be insufficient at best. It was all too much. For the one of the first times in his life, Spock laughed. At first it was a little chuckle, but soon it grew into full-blown maniacal laughter. He dropped his comrade, and he continued to laugh. It had finally happened. Spock had snapped.

Suddenly, a middle-aged, hunched over man on the short side of average found himself at the sight of the wreckage. He saw the bleeding Captain Kirk on the ground. He drew a weird-looking circle around the injured spaceman, and clapped his hands. There was a flash of bright light, and Captain Kirk was completely healed. Spock was too far gone to notice.

"The name's Marcoh." said the man, as he stormed away from the wreck. Kirk decided to figure out what he could about the world. He asked Spock to join him. Spock remained in the clearing, laughing.


End file.
